Fox Trot the TV show
by MCpooky
Summary: The Fox family has crazy and funny adventures. Co-written by Wolf Of Silver Dawn.
1. Death by Mother

Fox Trot: the T.V. Show: chapter 1: Death by Mother

Jason and Marcus rushed outside to launch a rocket.

"T- 5...4..." said Jason as he counted down the seconds.

"**WHERE DID YOU GO JASON!!!" **screamed Page from the house.

"Hurray up Jason, she's coming" said Marcus watching from the doorway.

"3,2,1 Blastoff!!" yelled Jason as he pressed the ignition button.

"NOOO! That was my math homework!" screamed Page.

"Wait, there's a second stage" said Jason.

BOOM! There's was an explosion in the air. A smoldering text book hit the ground.

"Think of it this way, it was a nice little firework in dedication to Einstein." said Marcus.

"You twerps are so dead!" yelled Page as she chased them around the yard. Eventually, Page caught up to them and pounded their faces inside out. Then she went to go tell Mom.

Mom came storming outside. "Jason, you are grounded for two weeks" she said. "No T.V., no video games, no computer. You have to play outside."

"What?! No Resident Evil? No World of War Quest? No Charlie the Unicorn!!!!" Jason held his hands up in the air and fell on the ground.

The next day Jason tried to turn on the TV, but his mom was waiting there.

"If you need some entertainment, you should go get Marcus and play _outside_" sneered Jason's mom.

When they came outside, Jason and Marcus slumped down in the grass and stared into space.

"Whatda you want to do?"

"I duno, whatda you want to do?"

"I duno, whatda you want to do?"

"I duno, whatda you want to do?"

This went on for about a hour.

Then, Jason leapt up in the air and said, "I will stand for this no longer. I will find a computer if it's the last thing I do!"

"If it's the last thing you do, it will be total waste of time and you'll be dead" said Marcus.

"Fine, then it'll be the second to last thing I will do!"

So they headed off to the Library. When they got there, they went to a computer station. They quickly found a chat room to go on.

_TwoBigGeeks has been logged on._

#1StarWarsFan: So then I- I'll finish this story later. Ko-to-ya newcomers. Let me introduce myself: I'm #1StarWarsFan. The headmaster of this chat room. My chums are FrodoJr, and KlingonWarrior.

KlingonWarrior: Welcome.

FrodoJr: HHIii Ilikepiedoyouyoulikepieeveryonelikespieilikepie. hi.

#1StarWarsFan: FrodoJr just got out of the mental asylum.

TwoBigGeeks: Right........okay.

KilngonWarrior: *snicker, snicker.* coughcoughtheyfellforitcoughcough.

TwoBigGeeks: Hey!

After a little 2 hour chat they logged off.

_TwoBigGeeks has been logged off._

"Hey Marcus, we should check out some books so we don't look suspicious" said Jason.

"It looks like you went to the Library" said his mom.

"Yeah, I met a few fellow geeks there"

"What are their names?"

"They like to go by their code names."

Jason started sweating.

"What are-"

"GottagofeedQuincybye!" Jason rushed upstairs.

When they got to Jason's room, they locked the door and barricaded it with the chair.

"That was a close one" said Jason panting.

Marcus went home for dinner after they talked about their plans for a giant geek amusement park.

The next day, Jason and Marcus got the computer at the library.

_TwoBigGeeks has been logged on._

#1StarWarsFan: Hey guys why are you so late?

TwoBigGeeks: Psychopathic Mom wouldn't let us leave the house.

FrodoJr: My mom's crazy too.

TwBigGeeks: Well, you haven't met anyone like my mom

Later that night, Jason's mom got onto the computer. "Aha!"

When Jason and Marcus got onto the computer at the Library, there was a new user name on the screen.

TwoBigGeeks: Hi, who are you?

TheProtector: I'm another chat room chum of #1StarWarsFan.

TwoBigGeeks: Glad to meet you.

#1StarWarsFan: Hey, who's your friend?

TwoBigGeeks: He said he was your friend.

#1StarWarsFan: Who said I was who's friend?

TwoBigGeeks: n,no,no. TheProtector said...

#1StarWarsFan: no, I mean who said...

TwoBigGeeks: Forget it. Do you want to hear more about my mom?

KlingonWarrior: Yeah.

TwoBigGeeks: She makes horrible dinners.

FrodoJr: How disgusting?

TwoBigGeeks: Have you ever heard of tofu casserole? Or lima bean dip? Luckily I have my older brother Peter to buy all the junk food.

Jason's Mom logged off while she had the opportunity.

When Jason got home that evening, his mom was waiting for him.

"You've been on a geek chat room at the Library haven't you?" questioned his mom.

"How'd you know!" cried Jason.

"My username was TheProtecter" she said

"Wait, I'm smarter than this!"

"Apparently not. Now up to your room mister, and you get two servings of dinner tonight."

"NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


	2. The Warden PART 1

**A/N: This chapter is an idea from . If you have any complaints about this chapter, talk to him. (Just kidding :D)**

Chapter two: The Warden PART ONE

"Stupid Eileen." Grumbled Jason.

"I know! The nerve!" protested Marcus.

"Will you two shut up! Some of us are trying to sleep! Yelled Paige.

"Jeez!"

"Wanna get some candy?"asked Marcus.

"Na" said Jason

"Drink soda?"

"No."

"Watch T.V.?"

"Nu uh."

"Why not?"

"Parents are still awake."

"Oh."

They lay there in silence for a few seconds.

"You know Marcus," said Jason."I think my life is finally weirding down."

"How so?" asked Marcus.

"Well, the past couple of weeks my life has been just the normal, average Joe life. I think my life is turning over a new leaf."

At that note they both fell soundly to sleep.

3 hours later…

A man climbed to the top of a large hill. His silhouette showed he was a lanky man wearing a Pandora hat with a feather in it.

"Ahem. 1, a 2, a 1, 2, 3, 4…"

The man started singing the Oggie Boogie song loudly.

Top of Form

Bottom of Form

Well,well,well, What have we here?  
Santy Clause?Huh? ooooooooo!  
I'm really scared! So your the one everybodys talking about!  
HAHAHAHAHAHA!  
Your joking!Your joking! I can't believe my eyes!  
Your joking me, You got to be!  
This can't be the right guy!  
Hes ancient! Hes Ugly.  
I don't which is worse!  
I might just split a seem now if I don't die laughing first.  
Mr. boogie says, theres trouble close in hand.  
You better pay attention now, Cause I'm the boogie man!  
And if you aren't shaking, theres something very wrong,  
cause this may be the last time you here the boogie song!

"I stand corrected. The weirdness is coming back." said Jason sleepily.

"Nice try Eileen!" yelled Marcus. No one knew it was the mysterious man who was signing.

"But listen, it's a man's voice." Jason pointed out.

"She probably using a voice scrambler. Eileen, you can't fool us after you…" He was cut short by Jason.

"No. We agreed we never speak about it ever again." Said Jason sternly.

Right before the chorus of the song started, a spotlight shined onto the man. He was wearing a purple zoot suite with tails and purple Pandora hat.

Roger (Jason's dad) came out. "**WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING!!! SINGING AT TWO IN THE MORING!!**"

The man appeared in an instant. "Sorry for not introducing myself. I'm Alexander Fox. But you," Alexander put a finger on Roger's chest. He looked down and Alexander flicked his finger and hit Roger's nose. "can call me The Warden." A loud 'Dun dun dun' played in the distance.

"Where did he get the sound track?" asked Marcus.

"I'm taking time off from running my prison to annoy the living hell out of you and your family." The Warden said.

"This is just a nightmare, this is just nightmare." Said Roger as he went back inside. The Warden let out a cackling laugh and disappeared.

In the morning…

"So we all had the same dream? Weird." said Peter.

"Mmmmm." Said Roger grumpily as he grabbed a bowl of what he thought was cereal.

Note the word, THOUGHT.

He took a large spoonful and shoved it in his mouth. Roger felt something wriggling in his mouth. He stuck out his tongue to see what it was. It was a chewed up worm that was still alive. Roger looked in his cereal bowl to find Jason's dug up worms for his show and tell presentation. He spit the worm out immediately.

Then the Warden appeared.

"Ha ha! Aw man, I play that one on the prisoners all the time. I can't believe you fell for that."

"You've got to be kidding me. That wasn't a dream?" exclaimed Marcus.

"Nope, it's me in the flesh," said the Warden.

"Get out of our house!!!" yelled Roger.

"Sheesh, critics!" said the Warden and he vanished.

"What was that noise?!" asked Andy. (the mom)

"The Warden. " said Peter

"Who?"

"The Warden. He's come to 'annoy the living hell out the family."

"I'm sure he's not that bad."

Suddenly there was a loud crash followed by a whump of something heavy landing.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! MY CAR!!" yelled Roger from the driveway.

"Okay, maybe we should take precaution."

Lunch time…

Peter unwrapped his sandwich. He spread the meat, cheese, and lettuce onto the bag. He toughly searched it. Then Peter got a paper cup from his lunch sack and carefully poured his soda into the cup while watching the liquid flow from the can. He sipped the contents from the cup and put his sandwich back together and ate it.

At dinner, Jason set a large metal thing on the table. He set his spaghetti on it. A screen came on and said 'clean'.

"Wow, I need one of those." Said Peter in awe.

"I have another one upstairs if you need it. 10 bucks." said Jason

"10 buc- fine." Peter reached into his pocket and gave Jason $10. Jason bolted off to the comic store.

"Two spider-man comics, my good man." Jason gave him the money.

"Heh, nice try kid." Said the clerk.

"What?"

"This is toy money. If you want to buy stuff with toy money go play with dolls."

Jason's face turned bright red. Steam came out of his ears.

Back at home, Jason walked over to Paige.

"Look, in order to beat the warden, we have to team up."

"Team up? With you? That'll be the day."

"Peter has already agreed. If you want one of these things," Jason held up the metal thing. "You'll join."

"Fine. But just to get rid of The Warden."


	3. The Warden PART 2

Chapter two : The Warden PART TWO

It was a dark and stormy night….

Actually, it was a bright and happy morning. That is, everyone was happy except the Fox family. They were still being tormented by The Warden. So far, they had to buy 12 new cars until they decided to just take the bus everywhere, Paige's wardrobe got sabotaged so all she had to wear was polyester, their spaghetti was worms and shoe laces, the meat in the sandwiches turned to old leather, and they also had to buy 4 new computers because they kept being thrown out the window.

The rebellion alliance of Jason, Peter, and Paige tried several different plans to get The Warden to leave.

Their first try was to set ice cream cones down under the bathroom window and capture him under a net. Jason and Peter threw to hard and it landed just to the side of him.

Then they tried to just tackle him but he disappeared before they got to him. There's more to it than that, but we won't go into gory details.

Next was their attempt to dip him in cheese fondue, chocolate fondue, then different types of wines. You can imagine how upset Andy was. Andy: "What in the word were you thinking!!? Wine on cleaned carpet! I'm still getting the blood out from the last plan!"

Plans 'G-M' all involved hiring people. Plan 'I' involved a professional nagger to see if they could nag him to sleep. Turns out, he immune to nagging.

Plan 'L' they hired pro wrestlers. They found out The Warden Hired some too. That plan ended up with Peter getting beat up by pro wrestlers on steroids.

"Sigh."

"Sigh."

Peter and Paige were sitting at the table.

"Guys, guess what!" Jason ran into the room with such a look on his face you'd think he just won a million dollars and a trip to see the cast of the lord of the rings in Hollywood.

"Give it up Jason The Warden is unbeatable." Groaned Paige.

"No, he's not." Said Jason.

"He's not?" said Peter and Paige in unison. Their faces brightened incredibly.

"Nope. I had Marcus Print up some stuff on him. Turns out, he has quite the reputation for bugging people. One was so bad he got turned into the police. But it says here that for an unknown reason he can't be sent to the police again."

"That explains why plan 'X' didn't work."

"But this is the good part," Jason started to read the off the paper."He will do anything for his girl friend, Lucy."

"I thought we agreed this plan would involve silly string." Said Peter in a whine.

"I know, but this will work better. Then we can shoot him with silly string."

"Fine." grumbled Peter folding his arms.

Peter and Paige came back from a very annoying day at school. Peter's locker was filled with mushy love cards from the warden the spilled on him every time he opened it. Paige got assigned a book with super small print and 3,000 pages to be due the next day and both of them were chased home by Quincy clones. They walked through the door with tattered clothes, scratches, and bruises. They found Jason at the phone with a bloody nose and fat lip.

"What happened to you?" asked Peter.

"I nint Wanh oo alk aout iphpp." Said Jason with difficulty.

"Did you get a hold of Lucy yet?"asked Paige.

"Sssshhhppp, a pones wingen" said Jason

*CLICK*"Hello?" a female voice came on the other end.

"Ib bith oocy?" asked Jason.

"I'm sorry can you repeat that?" said the female voice.

"IB BITH OOCY?" Jason repeated Jason. This time louder.

"Let me see that phone," Peter yanked the phone from Jason."Sorry, my brother has a tongue problem. Is this Lucy?"

"Yes."

"Your boyfriend is a… a… well, he's… wow, I'm at loss for words here."

"Is he bugging you guys now?" asked Lucy.

"No, he's- why, yes, he is."

"I could never get him to stop. I'm sorry, but you guys are on your own." Said Lucy sadly.

"Have you even tried to stop him?"

"Well, um, no."

"Then tell him to meet you at that fancy restaurant, Paris de French. Make sure you get there before him and that you get the privet room. We'll be waiting for you there."

"Wait-" But peter already hung up.

That night The Warden was walking down town towards Paris de French. There was a drizzle coming down so his features were slightly blurred. You could just make out some brown hair and a tuxedo under a giant overcoat.

Ding-a-ling.

"Do you have a reservation?" said the clerk in a stuffy French acsent.

"My girlfriend does. Lucy, at 8:00." Said the Warden.

"Aaa, yes. Right this way." The clerk lead him to a curtain at the back of the room. He lifted it and The Warden walked inside.

The room was a maroon red and on the ceiling there was a goddess sun. The Warden sat down. He drummed his fingers nervously on the table. Then Lucy appered.

"When did you get here?" Asked The Warden.

"Sigh. I'm sorry Alexander, but this is for your own good." A rope was lowered down by her side. Lucy pulled it.

"What the- aackthph!"

A whole lot of honey and feathers fell on The Warden. He tried to stand up but the honey stuck fast. Paige came out and slapped a pie on his face. Peter and Jason came out with bottles of silly string and sprayed it all over him. The chair swiveled around and paraded through the restaurant. Peter, Paige, and Jason suck out the back door and walked home.

"Where were you three!?" Yelled Andy.

"Out. But I don't think we'll be seeing The Warden for quite some time."

**A/N: This ends the part 2 chapter. We hoped you liked it! :D**


	4. Let's do it James Bond style

Chapter three: Let's do it 'James Bond' style.

"Can you hold on for a sec?" Roger put his hand over the phone."What do you guys want on your pizza?"

"I want pepperoni, but no mushrooms." Said Jason.

"I want mushrooms and anchovies, but no pepperoni." Said Paige

"I want an all meat pizza with gwava. I don't know what it is but it sounds good." Said Peter.

"I think this family should eat healthier. We should get a veggie pizza." Said Andy

"But veggies are all gross and slimy." Complained Jason.

"O.k., no pepperoni, no mushrooms, no anchovies, no meat, no veggies, and DEFFINETLY no gwava. Whatever that is," Roger counted everything off his fingers. He put his mouth back up to the phone."Just give us a plain pizza."

"Alright sir, that will be $5.99."

"Aaawwwww." The family whined.

After the very plain dinner, The fox family went off and did their own thing. Peter and Roger went to watch football, Jason went on the computer to play World of Warquest, Any went to read the paper, and Paige… well…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! OH MY GOD!!!"

Everyone came running up stairs to Paige's room.

"What?" they all said in unison.

"I got invited to go see the next Oprah show!!!!!!" Paige looked like she was about to cry.

"Oh." They turned around and left.

The next day Peter dropped Paige off at the Oprah studio.

"When do I pick you up? Never?" Asked Peter.

"Let me see your arm." Paige gave Peter an Indian burn.

"Ow!"

"When you ever think of leaving me anywhere, remember that pain." She got out and slammed the door.

Paige walked up to the ticket booth.

"10 dollars please." Said the boy.

_Wait, I know that voice! _Thought Paige. "Morton?"

"Yours truly." He said. "$10."

Paige rummaged through her purse. "What! I only have $9!"

"I'll get you in for $5. You just have to go on a date with me."

"OVER MY DEAD BODY!!" yelled Paige. "I'll get in even if I have to get in James Bond style."

Paige walked away from the ticket booth.

"The air ducts are sealed off."

"Oh, come on." Whined Paige.

Paige quickly thought of something. She went into the storage house on the side of the building that said 'Costumes'.

She tied her hair in a bun and put a bandana over it. Then, she put on a large wool over coat and put a fake cigarette in mouth. Once she observed herself in the mirror, she walked outside and joined a group of women that just bought tickets.

"Nice try Paige." Said Morton.

"How did you know it was me?" said Paige who turned around and discarded the disguise in the bushes.

"I recognized your beautiful eyes." Said Morton who got hearts around his head.

"I will get in." said Paige and she walked away.

She went to the back of the studio. There was a security guard standing at the door. Paige went into the costume storage. This time she got on a fake mustache and a black wig with a green hat over the top. Then she slipped on a green shirt that said 'Garbage' and the back.

She went to the back door with the security man. She said in a male voice "Garbage pickup." And the man let her in silently. Once the door closed behind her she took of the disguise and found a seat in the audience.

"Hello Paige." The voice was Morton's.

"How did you find me?!" Said Paige

"Did I mention I was ticket checker too?" he smiled. "So are you going to miss Oprah or pay up and go on a date with me?"

"No. I have one last thing to try." Said Paige and she walked out.

Paige went to the side of the studio building and pulled out a grappling hook. She shot it up and over the side of the building and pressed a button and she zipped up. On top it was very breezy and Morton was waiting on the top.

" It's a showdown of the good and evil." Said Morton. "the rules are simple. We each pick subjects that we like and ask three question. The person who gets more questions out of the three wins. I'll start. Math, what is the equivalent to Pi?"

"Ummm, 2?"

"Wrong. Next question, word problem, If Mrs. Betsy has a lot of 10x5 for plants and she places them two feet apart, how many can she plant?"

"None. It's November."

"Wrong again. Last Question, geometry, what would n be if the two of the three sides on the triangle were 100 and 72?"

"12?"

"That makes 0 for your score." Morton said.

"My subject is fashion," Said Paige. "Question one, you had a red purse what kind of belt would you ware?"

"Black?"

"Ew no. If you had a pink sparkly shirt what skirt would you ware?"

"Tan?"

"Again, ew no. Last question, If you had a green and purple stripped hat with a black purse, red shirt, and tan shorts in the summer time, what color and type of shoes would you ware?"

"Um, blue Crocs?"

"Nope, chartreuse flip-flops. Hmm, I guess we're tied." Said Paige

"That leaves rock-paper-scissors." Said Morton

It turned from James Bond to old western. Paige and Morton were standing face-to-face with their arms out to their sides and their fingers wiggling. They slowly started walking toward each other.

"Egad! The show starts in 5 minutes!" Exclaimed Paige as she looked at her watch."Can we hurry this up?"

"Fine, fine. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! Yes rock beats scissors! I win! Now you can go see the show and go on a date with me or not see the show. What will it be?"

"Sigh. I'll go on a date with you." Said Paige quietly.

"I knew you'd come to your senses," Morton ripped of a ticket from his roll."1:00, Friday at the Mac."

After the show Peter picked up a gloomy Paige.

"Was the show bad?" asked Peter.

"No. I have to go on a date with Morton Goldthwait on Friday at the Mac." Said Paige.

"What are you going to do?"

"Ditch him."

"Of course, why did I expect any different." Said Peter sarcastically.


End file.
